A bunch of amusing quotes from one of my lecturers in the Oceanography module I did last semester. This guy is awesome.
If the amount of incoming short wave radiation is greater than the amount of outgoing long wave radiation, the Earth gets warmer. This, in a nutshell, is what George Bush doesn’t understand.
Are there any Germans here? [no] Thank God!
I’m not completely okay with all the subjects here, but I will try to waffle in such a way that you’ll never notice.
No Americans here? [no] No need to point out Turkey then!
If shit happens, we’re all gonna die.
Mass wasting; basically shit falling down the slope.
Those who say “Oh no, the cliffs are receding, my garden is disappearing”, Fuck off.
I won’t go into it because I don’t fully comprehend it. That doesn’t stop me putting it in the exam.
Detritivores – basically shit eaters.
Faecal pellets – basically a lump of shit.
When you get old and sag, it’s the same with the ocean crust.
You guys have mobile phones…we had whips!
Either you guys are going to sleep or I’m getting very good at explaining things.
$25 billion – that’s about 60p
There’s lots of bullshit behind this curve. [regarding deep time sea level reconstruction graph]
The average fat American politician only knows where he goes on holiday.
Half of you will turn up to my lectures, a half of those will be asleep on the desk, a quarter very hungover and not paying attention and then the rest actually might be listening. Now pick your category and act it out.
The numbers are really starting to thin out now. Less exams to mark!
Pregnant [after a girl runs out of the lecture theatre]
This is how the Alps looked before the Swiss covered them in Milka cows.